Saturday, June 21, 2008

A Fair e Tale

Once upon a time, long long ago, a young Prince traveled far from the land of his birth. One day he came to a place he wanted to live so he stopped traveling and made a Marketplace. Many good people came to the Marketplace to trade and were happy and stayed with the young Prince. Life was good.

More people came to the Marketplace and it grew, it grew very large and all manner of wondrous things were found there, so more people came and it grew again. Life was good but the young Prince was growing tired because it was very hard work, so he found a Manager for the Marketplace. The Manager came to be known as the Queen and the young Prince was able to go away from his Marketplace and play. He was happy and life was good.

In the fullness of time the Queen decreed that certain traders who pleased her would become nobles in the Marketplace, which had changed as it grew. The nobles were pleased and worked even harder so the Marketplace became very very rich. The Queen was rich and happy, the Prince was very rich and happy, the nobles were happy and even the ordinary people were happy for they too could aspire to become nobles. Life was good.

Time passed and the Queen was very very rich. Life was good but she was bored and wanted to be like the very very very rich Prince before her, to leave the Marketplace and play. So she found a new Manager, an educated man who knew all kinds of theories and was a Consultant; which made him very important. The Perfect Ruler for the Marketplace and so the Queen was able to leave with all her wealth to go play in the Land of Politics, and she was happy.

The Perfect Ruler surveyed the Marketplace and was not happy. It was too cluttered. It looked like a Flea Market and it was noisy. This was not befitting to the dignity of the Perfect Ruler. This must be changed, forthwith, and it was done as the Perfect Ruler desired. Theories were made. Rules were changed. Suddenly, life was not good for the ordinary people who were told "Work harder so you too may become nobles and pay more taxes for the good of the Marketplace."

All the nobles and the ordinary people cried out most piteously but the Perfect Ruler was resolute. It was for the good of the Marketplace, for if the Marketplace did not make him wealthy then life would not be good. The ordinary people and some of the nobles revolted for the Rules changed daily and they were working very very hard, but the Perfect Ruler was resolute.

As time passed some of the nobles were no longer nobles, they looked around and saw many of their fellow nobles had also been demoted. Life was not good so they left, as did many of the ordinary people. "You are revoltingly bad sellers" said the Chief Assistant to the Perfect Ruler "and we are routing you out of our Marketplace" yapped the Town Crier. There was much less noise in the Marketplace and the Sellers of Fleas had all gone so the Perfect Ruler was happy and went off to play with his numbers.

Then the Perfect Ruler went to the Marketplace to make an announcement.

Where there were once 100 nobles of the Marketplace there now are only 50. If there are 15 nobles who constantly please the Perfect Ruler with their delightful scores, they are now 33%. Scores are up! The theories are working, zero plus zero gives us a BIGGER ZERO, the Chief Assistant has a dog named Lucy, and this is a good thing.

The people were surprised & delighted (and excited too) so they cheered and cried out "All praise to the Perfect Ruler of the Bigger Zero". Then they went home and worked even harder on their exit strategy.

The End.

Y'all come back


Anonymous said...



Henrietta said...


Thanks Tom, gotta have a little silliness sometimes I am glad you enjoyed it.

TheBrewsNews said...

The story is ALMOST perfect although you did fail to mention one of the main characters (the court Jester, everybody's favorite uncle).

I have read and re-read the story a few times. My favorite part, without a doubt, is the ending. On that note, I think I will go have some milk and cookies and go to bed after such a delightful fairy tale.

tula said...

ROTFL!! Ah, that made my day. You really captured the whole story in a lovely fantasy nutshell. I'm loving the wit displayed by you and some of the other bloggers in the wake on eBay Live.

My other favorite of the day was over at GenuineSeller, in reference to the keynote speeches:

"The trust between seller and buyer may be improved, but the trust between eBay and sellers is definitely at an all-time low. Lorrie had to keep saying, “C’mon!! That’s a great thing! Let’s hear it! Isn’t that great?!” (insert sound of crickets)."


Anonymous said...

I wish in was mandatory for all ebay transactions 2 now say you are supppoting another war 2 come in the middle east by bidding on ebay. Meg W and John McC both want people 2 bleed and hurt in a endless war were 'Ebay' on google search in 100 years time when the iraq war is finally over will produce no hits.

Anonymous said...

Top notch, I just love it!

(Sorry I can't remember my sign in information, and I know I have an account, but Google says I don't! This seemed the easiest way to post!)

Anonymous said...

LOLOL...what happened to everyone's favorite, useless uncle?

Anony Mouse

Anonymous said...

June 21, 2008 11:03 PM

Anonymous said...

I wish in was mandatory for all ebay transactions....

In keeping with the essence of this great story,looks like the village idiot has made an appearance.....